Setting the Standards

Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about when I will be ready to start dating again. Right now my main focus is finishing school. After that, who knows where I will end up. So until then, I am going to set some criteria for all new candidates.

First and foremost, I have decided that I will never again date anyone that is younger than me. I am tired of waiting for people to grow up and meet the "real world." I have gone through medical school with one, after he graduated, he decided that he didn't want the same things anymore. My last, I went through the last year and a half of his undergraduate, endured the LSAT with him and awaiting the acceptance letters. At first I thought that I was truly special in that I was getting to experience this exciting time with him. And there were some of those here and there. But when I look back now, especially with "new eyes," I see how it wasn't right for me at all.

I would help him study for his quizzes and tests via note cards and study guides. I would take him to school most mornings or he would ride into work with me. I would sometimes make his lunch for the next day and pack him a snack as well. In many ways I felt like a nanny or mother to him. I do realize that this is how the women in my family operate. We don't feel loved unless we feel needed. We express and receive love through the giving to others. However, I feel that this was not the type of situation that I needed to be in.

I need a man, and that is exactly what I mean. I man. Someone who is done growing up, is out of that college mentality and knows what he wants in his life. He must be somewhat established already in life. I need someone that can stand on their own and doesn't require too much attention that I am not willing to provide anymore.

The first time that I put my needs first, specifically deciding that I wanted to finish my program that I am currently enrolled in, before moving and setting up shop somewhere else, my ex decided that I wasn't what he needed anymore. Well, if a person is going to be that selfish, even more so after considering what all I had given up in the time that I was with them, then c'est la vie and adios.

I know that most of this sounds pretty strict and perhaps over the top, but I have decided that this is right for me. If it means that I am single for a while, then so be it. I have the rest of my life to dedicate to someone else. For right now, I am living for myself.