Self Dx

Frannie and I were talking over the weekend, nothing in particular, just chatting, and we came on the subject of my weight loss. I told her that I felt as though I had gained ten pounds over all the Christmas treats and from all the holiday parties. She said, "Good!"

I told her to not worry and that I was not going to get any lower than 130. She then told me that she was worried that I had anorexia. I told her that I was eating and then she asked me, "Do you know what anorexia is?" Thinking, like I am sure most do, that it was simply an eating disorder where the sufferer refuses to eat, I was apparently wrong. I know this because I wiki-ed it.

The exact definition, according to Wiki, is as follows:

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight and an obsessive fear of gaining weight, often coupled with a distorted self image which may be maintained by various cognitive biases that alter how the affected individual evaluates and thinks about her or his body, food and eating. It is a serious mental illness with a high incidence of comorbidity and the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder.

It can affect men and women of all ages, races, socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds. Anorexia nervosa occurs in the ratio of 1:10 in males:females.

Now, I will admit to the fear of gaining weight, however, I do not believe the rest of the definition applies to me. My goal of 130, when calculated, would put my BMI at 20.4. This number just so happens to be smack dead in the middle of the normal weight range.

As far as the imagining is concerned, I have always had neither negative nor positive images of myself. I look at myself in the mirror and see me. Just me, and how I feel inside. That is what I look like, take it or leave it. Aside from going under the knife (which I would never do), there is nothing that I can do to change what I look like. I feel completely neutral about how I look. I do however, try to wear nicer clothes than I have in the past, finally getting rid of the last of my college wardrobe, as none of it fits anymore. However, that shouldn't affect my self image. Energy is what I thrive off of, and if working out gives me more energy, and makes me feel good, then so be it.

Now, I know that Frannie was not saying these things to hurt my feelings, or that she really thinks that I could be mentally ill, she said it as a concerned sibling, and I am just saying this to tell her that there is nothing to be concerned about.

Love you Frannie! Now stop worrying for half a second please.