I might be killing myself...

Yesterday was quite a day. I had work, class, personal training, spin class, two projects due today and tomorrow, and I was going to cut the grass too. Well, I think that I might be over doing it a little. This quarter has been pretty difficult, but there is only one month and a couple of days left. Thank goodness.

I haven't been sleeping very well either. Last night I was absolutely dog tired, almost about to faint, all I could get myself to eat was two pieces of cheese and a small drink box of milk. I lied there for almost an hour before getting up and taking a shower, taking the trash out for pickup and then I was off to bed. Even then, I was tired and I knew it, but I could not go to sleep.

Is it possible to exhaust yourself past recuperation? Where your body is so worn out that it can't even sleep and really doesn't want to. Lately, ever morning has been a struggle to get up and get going.

I am in serious need a vacation. Luckily, I am planning one soon with a friend and her husband to enter the fantastic world of Harry Potter. I just need to find someone to go with me so that I am not the third wheel, so to speak. Any takers?

I am also planning on taking a few days off for when I move so that it won't be as stressful. This is the first time that I have had to move in two years. Its kind of scary to think about it. Although that house that I have lived in now serves as a prison of bad memories, there were some good times there too. I have grown quite attached to it, and I am going to be sad to leave there (but I will not miss the landlady, adios crazy!).

It is also going to be difficult transitioning from a house to a one bedroom apartment. I am looking at the bright side though. No more yard to cut, less space to keep clean, and finally freedom. Freedom from all the bad memories. I will only take positive thoughts with me and leave all else behind.

Big Weekend

Wow, this weekend was gone before I knew it. First stop, game with Mel. They lost, but they were up against the toughest team in the state right now. And they are still in the playoffs, so, GO TEAM!!

Then, I had sushi with Mel and Sarah. What a great night. I also learned a new word. Ahemmm... Tittles. Hahahahahahaha. I love it.

Anyway, then I went to a Native American festival to visit my mom, dad and little bro. It was so much fun to watch my little brother shoot blow darts at a Styrofoam head while a family friend yelled and cheered at him in Sioux. Like Kev knew what he was saying. We are Cherokee and Muscogee. However, there are so few Natives left that actually observe their ancestry that we all tend to stick together no matter tribe affiliation you have.

The funny thing is that when they do this festival, it is usually sponsored by the gentlemen who teaches at a prominent private school in the state. The funny thing is that he really doesn't have clue about certain things. He had to keep looking at my mom and family friend for answers to questions that the attendees ask.

After the festival, we headed over to my grandmother's for a little bday celebration ( I had not seen my family before nor after it). It was a great time hanging with my uncles. Many times they seem like my much older brothers than uncles. We are all really close.

I also had a great time just hanging with my immediate family. I took a walk with my mom and the dogs where we found a mini treasure that we passed on to my little bro. I helped my little brother with a paper of his for extra credit and I packed up and took some furniture home with me that has been sitting in a dark corner for a while. So, now I have a new project to sand them down and re stain them for my new place, whenever I get to move and find a place that is available.

If you all have any suggestions to any rental properties that you are aware of, please let me know. I am running into a lot of dead ends here.

Thanks to everyone for making my weekend fantastic.

I am in love with my hair stylist!

Never, and I mean never, have I gotten so many unprovoked compliments on a hair cut from complete strangers. He really did a bang up job. I, myself, have never been so enthusiastic about my hair either. I know that I did give him some pretty tough stipulations to dance around, but I just can't get over it. Yay!!!!!

It is so versatile too. If anyone is looking for a new stylist, call Shane at Republic Salon. He is amazing!!!!

My phone has never rung so much

Today was my birthday. That's right people, I am officially 25! Never thought the day would come. And how did I spend it, driving to Milledgeville and back for work and ending at the gym. I did treat myself to sushi though. Yum!

On my way down to Milledgeville, I was having all sorts of memories flood my mind. For one second, I felt like I was 20 again and I was driving home after visiting my boyfriend in Atlanta.

Then I saw it. The beacon. Whenever I was driving back to Milledgeville there was one thing that would stick out and I would see it before anything else, and I would know that I was home.

Its difficult to see in this picture, but it is the highest tower at the Georgia Power plant. It is the tallest structure south of Atlanta and in this picture, I am about 15 miles away from it. Awesome I know.

Once I got into town, I started thinking about all the good ole times, like the midnight runs to Taco Bell because Billy and Mike were in no state to drive. Or how about that time we all first met Ben L. at Chili's when it first opened. That was the same night that Virlyn and I called it quits.

Then I went over the tracks and there I saw the Goodie Gallery. My old landlord and my sister's favorite bakery. My friend owns it now, how cool is that?

Then, I saw it, just a half mile down the road. The house where my first apartment was. It has been fixed up since then, but this house use to be the laughing stock of the town. There use to be this sign up on the roof that said "Pardon the appearance, but the Historic Society has prevented the much needed improvements to this house." Whenever I would give people directions to my apartment, I would just say that I lived in the house with the sign and they knew exactly where I was.

I had some great times in that studio apartment. My closet was in the kitchen and my stove was tiny, but I still had friends come over every Tuesday for dinner. We would watch movies, play games, what have you.

I met so many interesting people there, most notably, Irina. She will have a special place in my memory. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Eh.

My final stop. When I pulled into the parking lot of the courthouse, which was my destination, I had to take this pic.

This was the first view I had of Georgia College when I first moved there. I parked in that lot on my first day while moving in. Its hard to believe that was seven years ago. Seven years ago I stepped out on my own and went off to the world of college. It is amazing how fast time flies.

Well, thanks for coming on that drive with me. I hope that you enjoyed it. The good news is that memory lane is always open.

A Night Out at the Opera House

This weekend was an absolute blast! I was a little hesitant at first because I had heard from a friend at the bank that this was going to be the craziest weekend in Atlanta because of all the other activities and festivals going on. Eek!

It was fine though. We went shopping and my girls bought my entire outfit for the night out. (Strange salty liquid dripping from eyes, what is it?) It was very sweet of them. I told them that I wanted to push the envelope a little considering the fact that I am reinventing myself. They made my wear a dress for the first time going out. Every time, even back in college, I would wear pants and some sort of top when we would hit the town. And, the introduced me to leggings. I have not worn leggings since I was at least 8 or 9. I think that I might be hooked.

Look out short dresses, here I come!

Armed with my new hair cut, new outfit, and great company, we went out for dinner and a little Champagne. We reminisced about old times. How much everything has changed. Past relationships with old friends, the places that we had lived and trips we had taken together and such. We laughed and laughed. It was a great time. We even barely noticed what a terrible waitress we had and tip her well in spite of it.

Then we went to Flip Flops for some frozen drinks after which we headed for our final stop for the night, Opera House.

This place was unlike anything that I had ever seen before. They had set up in the middle of the dance floor three tables and one had a pole right through the middle. We all looked at each other and knew that this was going to be an interesting night.

In the beginning of the night, there was this older lady who jumped up on the table and started break dancing. It was hilarious and the funny thing was, she was good at it too! She was getting all kinds of cheers and hoots and hollers. It was so much fun to watch her.

Out on the patio there were Latinos salsa dancing. I tried to teach the girls, but we may have a had a little too much in us by then. This is when we also found out that in order to sit at the Opera House you have to purchase an entire bottle of liquor. No thank you. (Believe it or not, it was not me that was trying to sit!)

The next morning, apparently Sarah N. had tucked me in that night and I did not move once. I woke up exactly how I had fallen asleep. That's a first!

After a few embarrassing pics which were erased shortly thereafter, we were off to the Flying Biscuit! (I still don't understand why they were flying, but oh well.)

We were going to eventually try to make it to some of the Dogwood Festival, but that didn't happen. We ended up at Lenox Mall where, I, armed with a birthday coupon, hit up Bare Escentuals. I also tried on a romber that both Sarah's tried on. That's right, we wear almost the same size now. Woot, woot!

Weight Loss Update: I have almost hit my 20 lbs mark. Getting there. Yay!

He blocked me on Facebook...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, (Cough, cough, cough) hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

As Frannie so cleverly said "Did he have to ask his brother to do it for him!" Ah, God I love her.

The Summer of Mere!

I was talking to my brother today about random things, and during the course of the conversation, he dubbed this summer as mine. He said to get back to myself and do only what I want. We both also might have made references to Seinfeld. (You can't help it, you just can't).

Also, today on my way to the courthouse for a little filing, I ran into an old familiar face. It was my very first boss when I moved here. The first person to hire me after college. He use to call me young (last name). Mainly because he went to law school with my sister. His wife was also pretty good friends with her. So, it was really a term of endearment.

Ahh, memories of the days when I worked in that tiny little house converted into an office. He use to tell me that I needed to work on my headings and learn a little feng shui. He is the one who made me into a pleading nazi, I tell you what.

I talked to him briefly about life and all its quirks. He asked me about Matt, and I told him what had happened and what my new plans were. He was very encouraging and said that he would help any way that he could. I told him what one of my friends had say and the lengthily warning they supplied and he said what I had figured was the case. Some people are cut out for it, and some simply are not.

Then I headed off for personal training. I take back all that I had said before. I was with the woman for 30 minutes and I have never hurt as much as this before. Originally, I was going to spin class after, but my face was bright (even that doesn't cover it) red. I looked like I stuck my head in a giant pot of boiling water.

The funny thing was that the spin instructor was using one of the machines that I needed for training and my trainer tried to give him the boot.

Haha. It was pretty funny, but I did feel bad that he was rushed.

Oh well, that's why I pay the big bucks right?

Lazy Day

I am so freaking tired. Yesterday I went to spin class while still nursing a hangover. (It was great fun though). I also had this headache that would not go away. I figured that if I got something else to hurt that maybe I wouldn't notice my head anymore. Sound plan right? I know.

After spinning my guts away, quick shower, and then off to soak my feet in the pool with Mel. She was actually trying to get a tan and wore some spray. Genius here, forgot for a second that I am the whitest person I know, and didn't put anything on. End result, I'm burned. However, it is not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. Plus, only one side of me faced the sun (I know, smart).

Anyway, I have lots of freckles now than I have had in a while. It was nice to relax for a moment too. In spite of all that, I am still so sleepy. In fact, as I am writing this, I'm ready to pass...

jfaldsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Take a walk with me.

Today, for my lunch break, I decided to take a walk downtown. It was such a beautiful day, the rain washed all the pollen away, and it wasn't insufferably hot.

I walked all over. Saw the new restaurants and bars setting up shop in the old buildings that had gone out of business. Its nice to see that this town isn't entirely dying. I saw people taking their picture with the bulldog at City Hall. (Athens is scattered with bulldogs all over the town and each has their own theme).

Then I came to the Old Georgia Theatre. I remember the day that it burned. During my lunch break that day, I walked down there with my boyfriend at the time and his best friend who was visiting from Atlanta. Smoke was everywhere. It took the firefighters almost the entire day to put it out. Many of the restaurant near it had to shut down for the day because it was miserable being just two blocks near it.

As I was passing, I decided to take a pic of it.

That light blue is not the window, rather the sky showing through the empty roof and broken windows. Its so sad. I loved this building and always admired it. I remember the first time that I saw it. It was my 21st birthday and my friends and I had traveled up here for the occasion. There were people lined up outside to hear the band playing that night. The lights were blinking and shining, for a minute you might think you were in Times Square, or that is, the Time Square in Athens.

Anyway, thanks for taking the walk with me. Next time I might venture onto campus. Who knows?

There's a ghost in my house

When it is late at night and I am in the in between state, where you aren't quite asleep, but not exactly awake either, I see this ghost. It even follows me to work in the morning.

When I am falling asleep at night and I happen to roll over and see the bathroom doorway, I still see this shadow of a man that I loved looking at his muscles in the mirror or pulling out the bathroom scale. I can see him brushing his hair. Sometimes when I am in the shower, I can still hear him. I've woken up several times during the night swearing that I heard his voice.

The night that he left, I had a dream, it seemed so real, that he came back and wanted to talk things out. It scared the crap out of me when I woke up and I was all alone.

When I come into work early in the mornings, still squinty eyed from my lack of sleep and exhausted from my schedule, and I am making my coffee, I can still see him yanking his bike out of the back of my car and going off to class or work.

What is wrong with me? Why is it that he was able to leave with dry eyes, and I am still stuck in the coroner's office protesting the autopsy results? I guess that is the blessing of being a man, you never really get too attached and its easier to walk away from something. I literally but everything I had into that relationship, and now its gone, died, and all I have left is myself and this ghost that haunts me at random.

I still check my phone like a crazy person. I would feel so bad if I had missed his call during my lunch break or after work. He would usually leave me a voicemail and I wouldn't check it until after I had already spoken to him. I was, and still am, pretty bad about answering my phone. That is why he got me a land line. Now that its not connected anymore, all my friends and family will have to suffer like they did two years ago. Sorry, stuck in my ways I guess.

I still get excited when I get gchats. Its like I have a memory lapse and think that it is from him. It breaks my heart still to know that he didn't feel excited anymore whenever I sent him text messages or called or anything. He made it sound as if it were a nuisance or something.

I guess today is just a blue day. Hopefully spin class will turn that around. And I might need to call the Ghostbusters soon, Bill Murray to the rescue!

Pollen, pollen everywhere, not a nose to spare.

Georgia is experiencing records highs in the pollen count this spring. I was on my way to the office today and I was at a light on the top of North Avenue. From there you get a pretty good panoramic view of the city. There was this yellow haze hovering over. Yikes.

Furthermore, every car in the parking lot and the lot itself is coated in this powder. Plus, while I was mowing the yard yesterday, these yellow puffs kept rising out of the clippings shooty despensing thing.

Rain, please come and wash away all this misery. Danka!

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I went to another spin class last night. I might have done some stupid things before hand though. I was done with my warm up and ab workout, but there was still loads of time in between then and when the class started. I didn't want to get cooled down, so I went on the bikes for a few minutes. Nothing to difficult.

When it came time to go into the spin room, my stomach was very upset. (I hadn't eaten a lot either). Well, while we were setting up the bikes and making all the necessary adjustments, the instructor was talking to others about his dog and how he needed a dog walker and such.

Then it happened, the lights went out, the music came on, and he put that little mic around his ear, and out popped Mr. Hyde.

Every time we would finish an exercise, he would ask the room how we were feeling. If we weren't enthusiastic enough, he would ask us to crank out the resistance and he would change the song to a more upbeat one.

Again with the faster, faster, and go! I could have died last night. It was terrible, but some how in a good way. When it came time to start winding down, he said, "And you're done, after that this next song." Geez man, such a tease. He also mixed it up from last time, which was good because if I get stuck into a routine, I'll be stuck from quite some time.

When the class was over, he was back to recruiting someone to walk his dog and he was all happy go lucky again.

I couldn't walk straight as I left, and I tripped over the trash can. Nice one Mere. In spite of my pain though, I did go home and mow the stupid lawn, AGAIN! I cannot believe that it had grown that much in such little time. Plus, as I was going, yellow dust kept flying into the air and getting my nose. Thanks pollen, really appreciate it. Not only are you covering my car and driveway with your particles, but now my nose.

Where's the Monkey?

While at the Asian food market, we all decided to play a game while there. The adults took turns in hiding this little plastic monkey among the food and shelves and then asked my oldest nephew to find him.

"Where's the monkey?"

The last two were pretty difficult I will say.

Finally, I would like to introduce you to baby crack, also known as a banana cheeto thingy.

Here will see the subject introduced to stimulus, notice how he reaches out with jubilation for it. Next notice his focus and concentration on devouring the tasty puff corn curl.

Happy Easter!

I hope that everyone had a terrific Easter Holiday. I know I did. I spent mine with my boys. Oh yeah, and my sister and her husband were there too (just pulling your leg dear.)

I watched them have an Easter hunt, which I have got to say that as more years go by, it still doesn't get old. Then off to Sunday Brunch. My youngest nephew who isn't one just yet was scared of the Easter Bunny. Every time that bunny got within eye sight of him he would start crying. Now my other nephew however, he loves, loooooooooves the Easter Bunny. He cannot get enough of him. It is so cute.

After Brunch, we did what any normal family does on Easter. Toys-R-Us. That's right, its play time.

Afterwards, we were going to visit Fry's (my brother-in-law's toy store). I had never been to one, but it was basically described to me as Best Buy on crack. Unfortunately that will have to be an adventure for another day, it was closed.

Then, oh yes, I'm not finished yet, we went to this Asian market where I got groceries super cheap. Good stuff too! They were handing out samples and such. My absolute favorite sample was the green tea pancake, it did not need any syrup once so ever. It was so good. The fish pancakes were pretty good to. They weren't actually made out of fish, just cooked in a fish shaped pan, and were stuffed with sweet red beans. Yum.

Anyway, there was one more activity that we did, but you'll have to read about it in the next post. :)

A song for me.

I was with Mel last night on our way back from another baseball game (go team!) when this song came on the radio. She told me that I had to listen to it. It is absolutely perfect and I almost died laughing so hard.

The song was "Pray for you."

I haven't been to church since I don't know when

Things were going great til they fell apart again

So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do

He said you can't go hatin' others who have done wrong to you

Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn

Let the good Lord do his job, you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill

I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I'd like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

I'm really glad I found my way to church

Cause I'm already feelin' better and I thanl God for the words

Yeah, I'm gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do

You keep messin' up, and I'll keep praying for you

I pray your tires go out at 110

I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend

And wake up with his and her tattoos

I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I'd like to

I pray that your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dream never some true

Just know wherever you are, near or far

In your house or car,

Wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

I pray for you

Hahaha, this is a great song.

Mental Pictures

Well, there is no question about it. The Office is my favorite show, and everyone knows that. Do y'all remember the wedding episode where Pam was taking "mental pictures?"

I was thinking about it today. There are so many times that I wish I had a camera on me or someone had taken some pictures.

For instance, that time that Sarah N. and I rain through the sprinkles on front campus. You see, front campus was this long block that was really about two regular size blocks. We were coming back from one of our late night brownie trips when we noticed that the sprinklers were on. Straight across front campus, at the same time. We both looked at each other and without hesitation, went for it.

Apparently I made such a ruckus and was screaming so loudly that I made Sarah N. laugh so hard that she almost wet herself, apart from the sprinklers that is. When we walked up to our dorm, some of our neighbors thought that we were drunk. Why? It was so much fun. Our pants went straight into the washer, they must have weighed ten pounds on their own.

There was also that time when Sarah S. and I were painting her bedroom suit. It was getting late, we had a few beers in us, and eventually we had more paint on us than we did the furniture. When we woke the next morning, well, it was back to square one for sure.

Oh, and let's not forget the time that Billy talked me into going out on a Wednesday for "one drink" and sushi. That "one drink" somehow turned into four bars, two trips to the ATM and about three pitchers and one of those towers of beer. Needless to say, the next morning at work was a rough one. Thank goodness it was the summer and I didn't have class. Billy and Alison, who had also joined in on the venture, slept it off back at my house.

How about that time that the Sarahs, Ben and I all went to the Bill Engvall show. I had never laughed so hard in my entire life. We kept on looking at each other throughout the show and seeing all our faces bright red. Ahh, that was a good night.

The first time that I tried crab was hilarious. My mother is highly allergic to it, and so I had always been afraid to try it thinking that I might be as well. I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I took a benadryl right before, just in case, and had the dinner of a life time. It was so delicious. We sat there in Ben's apartment, Mike, Billy, Ben and I. Forgetting that I had taken the meds beforehand I indulged in a little beer as well. Hey, it was Cinco de Mayo my friends, don't judge.

Later that night, I was feeling lucid to say the least, and we ended up over at Sarah N.'s for her party to celebrate the Mexican Independence. She had never seem me that way. She exclaimed to them, "What did you do to my [Mere]?"

That was a great night for sure. I woke up the night morning asleep in her bed (she is a good mom too) and the guys had apparently that night lined up all the living furniture against her bedroom door as a prank. It was pretty funny.

My senior year in high school, it was the last football game, and it is a tradition for the seniors in the marching band to do something crazy during the half time show as like a little signature or what have you. In the middle of a standstill during the important part of a song, I just started jumping around in circles and kicking my feet in all directions. I made my friend next to me laugh so hard that she couldn't play anymore. The really funny part is that this game was televised and my parents were watching at home. Even though I was dressed like everyone else, and the fact that it is nearly impossible to distinguish one of us from the other, they knew exactly who it was dancing. I wish I had a copy.

I loved being the prankster. When Kev was a baby, I would drop ice down his diaper and he would go screaming around the house and no one would know what was wrong with him. Hahaha, yes I know, I'm evil deep down inside.

Two words, SPIN CLASS!

Originally I was suppose to embark on this adventure with my boss, but she bailed on me. It was okay though, it was a work related semi emergency. I'll forgive her, this time.

Anyway, so, I go into the semi lit room (its got this rope light running the length of the back wall, that's it!). Seems pretty intimidating so far, and I haven't even touched the bike yet. There were three rows of bikes and a platform where he sits with his bike.

He seemed like a really nice guy until the music came on and it was time to go.

At first there was just a little warm up, which felt like a workout to me. I felt guilty because he kept saying to the room that we shouldn't be breathless at that point yet. Oops.

Then we got into it. There is this little knob on the bike that raises resistance and that knob did not sit still for any amount of time. It was always, "turn it up, turn it down, turn it up two full turns." Two full turns, you crazy man?

The absolute worse part... He would say, "a little faster, a little faster, GO! And at "GO" I had never seen my legs move that fast in my life. They were just a blur when I looked down. Like one of those road runner and coyote cartoons or something.

I also had never been so hot in my life and had goose bumps at the same time. It was a really odd sensation. The one thing that kept me going, other than my stubborn self and my goals, was the fact that in the dark and when he made those angry biking faces, he looked a lot like Bradley Cooper. Yum!

Hahaha, anyway. I felt fantastic afterwards. And my shirt was three sizes larger than it was when I came in. After wiping the bike down, I decided to go and work on my arms some. My body was so tired that even 20 lbs was almost too much. Geez.

I can't wait to do it again next week though. Pretty equals pain right?

I gots a boo boo!

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. I was very fortunate in that I got out of class earlier last night. So what did I decide to do with that time? I went riding of course.

My new favorite past time is riding my bike around the neighborhood. It is so peaceful and soothing to me. I like watching people walking their dogs, or their kids. Each time I pass someone, there is an understood nod that we each give.

This is one thing that I am going to miss about living in a neighborhood. I won't be able to do this in an apartment complex, that is for sure.

I was about to make another round when it all went down hill. I was peddling uphill and my foot slipped on the peddle and hit the gear and chain and who knows what else. I can out lucky though. I have three blood blisters (ewww) and a scrape and a sore leg. It could have been a lot worse. Needless to say, I walked up the rest of the hill back home, limping.

I know that I gave you a hard time last night, but thank you Stefan for making me feel better. You have been very supportive these last couple of weeks in all regards. Even in spite of the fact that for the last couple of years I have been a bad friend. Forgive me? How could you not right? Anyway, thanks for your sympathies last night. I appreciated them.

The rest of the night I went into my keepsake box and was looking at old graduation cards and found a birthday card from my Sarahs when I turned 21. It made me giggle. I can't wait to spend my 25th with them. I already know that it is going to be a blast. Whenever has hanging out with them not been, right?