Promises, promises.

With the new year fast approaching, I was thinking the other day of what my New Year's Resolution would be. Normally, I don't make them. I kind of feel that if I decide to do something, I will do it, not wait for the new year. No time like the present, right? However, in thinking about what all I have accomplished this year and the fact that the New Year is soon, I figured, what the hell.

So, here it is. I am going to try to "put myself out there." Socialize more. Many have asked why it is that I am still single, or why it is that I have yet to "market myself." My explanation/excuse has been that I simply do not have the time. Granted, my schedule is busy with all my activities, work, school, gym, cooking, but somehow I have managed to see Sarah S. at least once a week and been able to do numerous other activities as well. So really, if I were to sit down and plan, I would have the time. So, I guess the only thing that is really holding me back is... me.

I am concerned with, and have mentioned to several of you, about losing control of my life. I feel as though that is my real deterrent. I have big issues with letting go of certain things. Like in a previous post, I have worked so hard for what I have, and I refuse to let anything stand in the way of that.

When people are trying to pin me down for dates or times to go out and do things, I am constantly thinking "I still want Wednesday free for me, can't do it Tuesday or Thursday because of the gym,..." I am the excuse queen. I even have trouble with scheduling with my trainer, which is what irritates me more when he has to cancel. It takes me forever to chose a day, and then I have to go through the entire process again, because he double booked?!? Agh.

I use to love doing things in the middle of the week though. Earlier this year, I had a blast with my on the whim nights, like Lindsay's birthday. Normally, I would shy away from doing anything like that, unless it were really, really important. As we all know Lindsay's birthday is.

In trying to take all that in and forcing myself to "let go," I am going to try to make myself more readily available for outings. I am going to say "yes" more than I do "no." This will just be one more mental hurdle that I am going to have to over come.

Here goes.