Day of the "F" Bomb

This morning was the first in probably 1 1/2 years. I slept in... unintentionally that is. My alarm either didn't go off or it did and gave up. I woke this morning to the sound of my phone ringing. My first thought was, "Who would be calling me at this hour?" followed by, "Why is the sun out so early?" As I walked over to my dresser to grab the device, I caught a glance of those demontic little red numbers.

I answered the phone with the loudest f-bomb I have ever utter... in my life! Don't worry, I knew who it was calling me. Jacki apparently was experiencing the same type of morning. Her son forgot his coat, then when she got to the school to hand it over, he informed her that, in addition to his coat, also forgot his homework. Take two.

I haven't felt that rush of panic searing through my entire body in so long. I was impressed with myself though. I got here in time to open the office. However, troubles were still on the horizon.

After about an hour or two, while still working on this statement of material facts, I get a call from Andrea stating that her brief was eating itself. "I'm not kidding!" I immediately hung up the phone and made a mad dash down the stairs. I believe I was actually airborne for the entire trip down. I ran into her office and there it was, chomping away at itself. In absolute panic and seeing the look on her face, I reacted. I can't remember what I did, but I fixed it.

Hopefully, this day will go without any more f-bombs or absolute disasters.

Wake up, wake up, wake up!

Some have wondered over the years why it is that I am such a proficient napper. Granted I was depressed, but when Sarah I first moved here together, I would come home every day from work and take a two hour nap. Now, I know what you are saying... That's not a nap, that is sleep, and you are right.

My parents have always had this running joke that nothing could possibly ever wake me. "Mere could sleep through a train wreck, and if she were on the train." Its true. I have slept through fire alarms, midnight surgeries while staying with my mom in the hospital (that's her favorite story), but there is one thing that I always wake from...me. I will wake in the middle of the night, sometimes from the best dreams, and cannot get myself back to sleep. That is why I think I have the ability to fall asleep quickly. Its because my body knows that it needs to get in what it can because four hours from then, I won't be able to.

I never quiet understood it, that is until I was talking with my uncles this past weekend. We were talking during the family gathering at my Aunt Wanda's house. I haven't seen my uncles in a really, really long time. But I started noticing that they both are in fact, insomniacs. I had often wondered why my Uncle Kerry would post on facebook at 2 or 3 in the morning. Apparently he never sleeps.

My Uncle Richard by far had it the worst. As told by him, his parents (my grandparents) would have to lock in him in his room at night for bed time and let the child scream. He couldn't go to sleep and so he would scream and scream. The doctor advised them not to give in because otherwise he would develop the habit. Eventually he stopped and he learned to stay in there until he was able to fall asleep, however short lived it was.

Well, what inspired this post was the fact that last night, and several of the nights during this month and this past summer, I have woken and stayed up for hours. Just a few weeks ago, I woke at 3:00 am and could not get myself back to sleep. That was probably the longest day of my life. However, back in August, after a night out on the town with Sarah S., I found myself falling asleep at 3:00 only to wake at 5:00. No matter what I tried, nothing worked. Staring at the clock only seemed to make time stop all together.

In addition, last night, although still tired and sore from my personal training, I woke with my muscles hurting and I could not find a comfortable position. I tossed and I turned. I beat my pillows beyond recognition, and folded them over into pillow-gami. Eventually, even Mo got frustrated with me and when I finally crawled out of bed, admitting defeat, I found him asleep on the couch.

So, why is it that now in my adulthood I have just developed this plague that haunts my ENTIRE family? Why now? Why?

Revenge?

I can't remember if it was this morning or last night, but someone on the radio was polling their audience to find out what the craziest thing their listeners had done in the name of vengeance. I started to think back on my past relationships and determined that I am a pretty fair individual. Granted, when in the heat of battle, I can and will, scream my head off until all the blood has rushed to my brain and it explodes. I have to admit that I was appalled, and by appalled I mean laughing, at what others were calling in and confessing.

I have never burned, sold, destroyed or sabotaged another's property nor their person. Takes way too much effort. The worst thing I think I have done...Once I did the dumping; he and my pervious ex would not stop calling me, so to kill two birds with one stone, I changed my number. That's it. Call me Ms. Passive Aggressive.

Most say, "Don't get back, get even." Well, my motto is "Don't get back, get a move on," and that is what I have pretty much done with my life. Whenever I have run into a brick wall, I either turn a different direction or climb over it. I try to not let it effect my life, and if it does, only in a positive way.

Like this last time. I lost 50+ pounds, went from a 14 to a size 6 (come on lucky 4), got a promotion, and I am moving forward with my life. I didn't throw or smash anything, or sit in the floor and kick and scream like a petulant child. If anything, my house smelled like bleach for a month. (Cleaning is my cope mechanism.)

So, women of the world. Stop being so overly dramatic. Just remember, life is usually better off without them. And, if it isn't, make it so!

Long Week Ahead

Although it is Monday, my week started on Saturday. Due to having to take bereavement leave for most of Thursday and all day Friday, I was unable to complete most of my assignments at work. Therefore, to make up for lost time, I came in on the weekend.

Its amazing at how much you can get accomplished in just a few hours when the phone isn't ringing constantly. I was glad that I was able to make up some of that time and to complete my paperwork for our insurance renewal, however today was extremely difficult to get up and running.

I set the coffee pot up the night before, when my alarm went off this morning, I knew that this was not going to be easy. I slammed the snooze button and went back to sleep. Eventually, I managed to get up, walk downstairs, get a cup of coffee, and trek back up to my room. Each step I took was a definite sign that I needed more sleep. My stomach was curling and turning like never before. Finally, thirty minutes later, I was able to get up and drink my coffee, pack my gym bag, eat breakfast and get on with the day.

However, my stomach is still bothering me. Its like an empty stomach feeling, but at the same time, I'm not hungry. Does that make any sense?

Hopefully tonight's training will not be too hard on me. I am still worn out from yesterday's spin class. They have brought in new lights and one is bright red (like a tanning light almost) and it was gleaming on me the entire time as I sit close to the back wall. It was like I was in Tahiti but without a pina colada. I don't know which made me sweat more, the exercise or that damn lamp.

Frannie, Happy Birthday!

Today is, and apparently according to facebook, her 29th. Excuse me... I need just a moment.

(Bahahahahahahahahahaha...hahahahahha. cough, cough, bahahahahha.)

Okay, now. This week has been particularly difficult. Acknowledging the 10th anniversary of our sister's death, our grandmother dying, and she having to endure the tasks associated with planning the viewing, funeral and burial. (Did I mention that I am a dead beat sister, or at least I feel like one.)

Anyway, although I know that this time of year is usually filled with sorrow, Frannie, I command you, that's right, command you, to acknowledge and enjoy this day. This is the only day (apart from Mother's Day) that is especially for you and the celebration of same. So... celebrate!

Frances

Let me tell you about a woman named Frances. She was my grandmother. I'm saying 'was' because sadly she passed away on Tuesday evening. Today, we must say our final "goodbyes."

In an effort to honor her life, I wanted to share some memories that I have from when I was a child.

My first memory of her is from a time that I was visiting at her condo. I couldn't have been much older than three. I would sit in front of her huge television (or at least it was to a toddler) and watch the live action Peter Pan. You know, back when they had women play the part. I would sit there and eat my Mickey Mouse shaped ice cream popsicle. I remember riding my cart that I had built out of waffle blocks and seeing the grooves that I was making in her shag carpet.

For some reason, and I still don't know why, but this memory of eating grits at her table in the morning is stuck in my head. I would circle around the edges of the mound of grits she would place on my plate. Each time that I made a full circle, I would giggle to myself because I could see more of the pattern on the dish. Her dishes are another memory for me. No one else I knew had those dishes. They were beige with brown flowers on them and a brown outer lining.

I also remember her cat. I could never say his name correctly so I always called him Pumpkin, and still do to this day. I would search under each piece of furniture until I would find him huddled under her comforter. The funniest story that she had of me, and would never pass up a chance to tell it, was once she had a little stuffed cloth cat on a pedestal. I had come to visit her one weekend and said, "Look Granny, it's Pumpkin on a stick!" She thought it was the cutest thing.

Her voice, even now as I write this, is echoing through my head. It was the sweetest, most gentle voice. You would never know if she were angry at you (or perhaps I was just that angelic and she never was) because her voice was always so calm.

The last time that I saw her, I had almost decided not to go by. It was getting late and I had just finished my Christmas shopping. I was worried that she would be asleep and I did not want to wake her. I ignored my hesitations and drove to her nursing home anyway. I am so glad that I did. We sat there for an hour just talking, about nothing really. She told me about her childhood, stories which I had never heard.

When she was young, her mother would allow her to visit the movies once when a new film was playing. (Remember, this was back in the day when movies were a big deal and there was only one at the theater at a time). She told me that sometimes she would go and watch the movie twice. Her favorite was the Client and I remember watching it with her many, many years ago.

So here's to you, Granny. Although I will miss you, I am glad that you went out of this world in your own style. I am glad that you may finally have some peace and that you are in a place where pain is no more.

She lived a full life. Four children, eight grandchildren, six great grandchildren.
 
Today we say our goodbyes. We love you and will miss you.
 
Rest in Peace, Frances.

Happy Birthday Tara

Today would have been Tara's 34th birthday. To commemorate this special day, I would like to share a bit about her, her story.

My first memory of her... I was about two years old. I had climbed the top of my dresser by pulling the drawers out one my one. As I peered through the curtains on my window, I could see Tara and Adam climb into the school bus. I remember thinking about how long I would have to wait for her to come home so that I would have someone to play with. Our housekeeper was rather old and wasn't too keen on playing games, particularly with a toddler. I would sit in her room while she worked on her home work, playing in her Strawberry Shortcake toy chest that was in, you guessed it, the shape of a strawberry. I remember the pink glow that would surround me every time that I enclosed myself in it.

We would play "house" out in our tree house, me always demanding to play the role of "mother." I remember falling off the swing below the tree house and screaming for our mother. Tara, being my rescuer tended to my skinned knees and palms.

When I was in middle school, Tara was living in the guest house right after she had graduated college. It was great having her home again. On weekends we would have "pool parties" where we would crank the stereo up and eat ice cream by the pool. I would try to tan with her, but my fair skin just couldn't take it. Then I would challenge her to a dive competition. That was a running joke with us. Tara could not dive, although her belly flop was a sight not be missed. Other days, we would go to the movies together. I still have the ticket stub to the last movie we saw. Frequency.

Some mornings, I would go out to the pool house and she would braid or fix my hair for school. She was much better at things of that nature than I was. She use to always comment on our beautiful my hair was and would play with it for hours on end, most when we would watch movies or TV in the family room. Her touch was so gentle and calming. Most times I would fall asleep while she brushed or braided it.

What I remember most about her, and what most do as well, was her laugh. It was like she knew how to laugh better than anyone. Her nose would crinkle and her eyes were almost invisible. You couldn't help but laugh with her. She had such a great sense of humor too. There weren't many times when we were together that there wasn't laughing.

Now, when ever I think back, I remember two things. Her laugh and the warmth you felt when around her. Not a day goes by that I don't think of and miss her.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

The Day My Heart Broke

Ten years ago, my heart along with so many others, broke forever. Although I have experienced countless joys in my life and considered it as fulfilled as any twenty something could expect, there is one void that can never be filled. One pain that can never be relieved and a wound that can never be healed.

In trying to think of what to say this day, I decided to post a paper that I wrote during my senior year of high school. I don't believe that I can, particularly this year, bring myself to write something new and relive it all again. Particularly since last night my grandmother passed away.

Its already begun to take a toll on me that I hadn't expected. Each time someone asks me that simple question "how are you?" that lump appears in my throat and I can barely stand to breathe. So, perhaps later I will be able to share more details for those interested parties. For those who want to know more, but don't dare ask.
________________________________________________________________________

I was fifteen when it happened. Just a regular teen living out her life as a high school student. I still remember that day perfectly. It was a bright, sunny day in January. It wasn't warm by any means, but sunny none-the-less. No matter how happy I was that afternoon; my life was forever changed by the events that followed.

My mother had just picked me up from school. She said that we had to go to the store. I asked her if I could buy a birthday card for my sister since her birthday was the next day. My mom said that Tara, my sister, wasn't coming home until the next weekend. "Then we'll celebrate her birthday," she said.

When we got home, I started putting away the groceries. Then I began to eat a bowl of my favorite cereal, Lucky Charms. A couple of minutes later the phone rang. I didn't pay much attention to it until I heard my mom's voice tone change. "I don't know how to talk to you right now. Call me in a few minutes; I'll try to call her." Then she hung up and looked at me with a distorted face. "There has been a fire at Tara's house. Her car is parked in the driveway."

As soon as those words went into my ears, I got up and ran outside. It had started raining. I barely noticed though. I just kept on running; I ran deep into the woods behind my house screaming. Then I collapsed onto a tree. My body and my mind had become weak from the news and attack of shock. My mind didn't want to believe it, but my heat knew. I just started wandering around my backyard. I wasn't thinking. My entire body went numb from the shock. At one point, I was rocking myself on the ground while sitting in a puddle. It was an attempt to console myself.

My random screams and insanity slowly turned to remorse. I was sitting in a swing staring up at the sky. My mind started replaying the past. I started seeing images of Tara running up to the swing set, trying to dive into the pool, and driving up to the pool house, where she had lived for a year. Without noticing that I was doing it, I began yelling up to the heavens, "I love you Tara." I hadn't understood what I had done until the echo was heard in my ears.

Then I started thinking about all the terrible things I had done to her when we were younger. It made my stomach turn. I wanted to go back in time and change it all. I wanted to say that I was sorry. But now, my chance had passed forever. My eyes filled with tears again.

My father then came onto the back deck of our house, and starting calling my name. I went running to him and gave him a huge hug. "I just took Kevin to Papa's house. He doesn't know yet. We are going to meet Uncle Matt at Taco Bell to take him with us to Athens," he said. He thought that it would be best if my little brother didn't come with and found out just yet.

When Matt got into the car with us, he held me in his arms. The whole time I was trying to think of how the fire started, and how she died. My head started the idea that she had lit some candles, and that they had fallen over when she was asleep. I wanted to believe that she died in peace and didn't feel the inferno in her room.

Some how I made it to Athens without tearing myself into pieces with situations. It had stopped raining by this time. I remember how I felt walking up to the police station and watching strangers come up to me and hug me. I felt as if my body had turned inside out, and the whole world could see my broken heart.

The room they took us into was very cold and stale smelling. I remember thinking that it was all a dream, and that I wasn't there and none of this was happening. How wrong was I? Very, very wrong. Little did I know that more was about to happen to my family and my innocence.

They sat my sobbing mother, my father, my uncle and I down at the table in the center of the room. The detective looked at us and said with a soft, gentle voice, "We believe that foul play was involved." At that moment I heard my uncle make a sound so horrible and heart twisting that it echoed through the station. It was a loud shrill. I had never heard a sound so awful in my life.

The news was like a stab through the chest to me. I couldn't believe that someone had taken my sister away from me. It was bad enough when I thought that she had died by accident, but when she is taken from you; its a completely different feeling. To me it was like I had lost her twice.

The rest of the memories of the police station have become hazy, so I will not continue with those details. The next thing that happened was my family had checked into a hotel room. My mother was constantly throwing up all night. We couldn't get her to eat anything. She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry honey. You should've had your sister all your life." Then I just stroked her hair and said, "I will always have her."

That night, as I laid down next to my uncle, I thought about what I said to my mom. I came to understand that I will always have her. Maybe not physically, but she will always be living in my heart. I will always have my memories with me about the good times and the bad times. I will always be able to see her running and smiling in my dreams.

Those thoughts have helped me live with the pain of losing my sister. Even her funeral was easier knowing that I will always have my past with her and that one day we may be reunited.

Slowly, my life has gotten back on track. As I begin my education at Georgia College and State University, the same school Tara had attended for her undergraduate, I think how she may be smiling down at me. All I can say to myself is, "I miss you Tara."

Wonder Woman

This weekend I spent it with Frannie. Three full days. I...am...tired. I have no idea how she does it. I love those boys and I am so thankful for them, but they are a handful. We went shopping one day and at one store, somehow there was glass on the floor and little Jett found it and cut his finger open. I swear, if there is a way that kid can hurt himself, he will find it.

She ran off to the bathroom, me chasing her, to wash his hands. While waiting for the store manager to return with a bandage, she made two more trips to wash his finger as it would not stop bleeding. Later that day while watching a movie, Jett was running up to grab a toy and flew head first into the coffee table. As if that wasn't enough for him, he later slid off the couch head first. Two words for this kid...Bubble Wrap.

I had a great time with them this weekend though. One night, before sending the boys up to bed we had a dance party in the living room with the lights turned off and glow sticks. It was intense and Panya is an excellent DJ I might add. We were dancing and jumping, and I got so worn out from it. It was such a workout.

Last night, as I began to unwind, and finally got to watch those DVDs that Panya gave me for Christmas courtesy of the new DVD player that he gave me, I was thinking about how awesome Frannie is, and I truly do not get how she does it. Hopefully, when I grow up, I can be just like her.

Bringing Out That Inner Child

It has been a busy week at work and more so at home trying to catch up on everything. I predict that next week will be just as crazy, if not more. So the posts will probably come sparingly.

On Tuesday morning, I awoke and was informed that the office was having yet another snow day. Good thing too since my drive was completely iced over. I walked about my place for almost an hour. Saw things that I had never noticed before since moving there. For instance, one of my neighbors has a bungalow type thing attached to the back of their unit and it has a separate stair and entrance. So cool, huh?

I almost slid down some stairs while trying to scale them as I approached the road. Finally, I decided to get a move on and I was off. Where to? Sarah's, of course. She lives about five miles from me and determined to (1) not allow her to drive and (2) to not spend another day in the snow alone, I hiked to her place. She, and her dog Milly, met me about 3/4 of the way there. It was so much fun watching her dog try to navigate the ice.

When we got back to her place, I had some of her cranberry and orange muffins. Delicious! Then we scoured her house looking for something, anything that could be used as a sled. Success! When Ben was officially on his lunch break, as he works from home and didn't get a day off, he drove us back to my place, or rather the trail that leads to my place. We then prepared and pushed one another down the huge hill that leads down into the paths that follow the river. Unfortunately, since many had done this the day before, most of the quality snow had gone. After only a few tries (and some hilarious vids I might add), our fun came to an end. Sarah hit a rock and it tore a big hole in the tray to Milly's crate. Then, thinking that I would be able to still use it for one last ride, got it caught on an even bigger rock and tore another hole into it.

We then slid down the steep hill to the path, which was now covered in mud and we almost fell down. Then we decided to go hiking. As if I hadn't had enough, we hiked for two hours there and it only took us an hour to get back. I shot a "Woman v. Wild" kind of video following Sarah for a minute and then we just took mounds of pictures of the beautiful scenery to be seen. We crossed two creeks and finally got to a place where we decided that we needed to turn back before dark.

On our way back though, I decided that I had to climb the rock face that is early on in the trail. Not thinking this through, obviously, I was afraid that I would slide down the rocks onto Sarah. I was wearing my river boots which have rubber soles. Great for the river and snow, not so much for the ice. When I finally got up there, and was standing up top, I got immediately scared at how high I was and that I was standing on nothing but ice. I then crouched down and Sarah and I slid the 20 or so feet back down on our butts.

It took forever for them to thaw out. Then we sat on the couch and watched movie after movie. Then Ben came and brought us pizza and made rice crispy treats with chocolate and peanut butter chips. Most delicious. It was a great night and I was sad to see them go.

Hopefully soon I will be able to steal her camera so that I can upload the photos. Plus those that were taken from New Year's as well.

SNOW DAY!

I haven't had a snow day in forever. And the great news, I may get another tomorrow. Since I work for a law firm, they are especially cautious in regards to things of this nature. When my boss called this afternoon to check on me, he (and my dad last night) reminded me that I live in a river valley and that ice was inevitable. "Be safe."

Well, I was safe-ish today. I didn't go driving anywhere, particularly since some jerk who doesn't live here drove around in a hummer and created all kinds of slush and ice. Asshole.

Last night I had spent about an hour sitting in my windowsill in my bedroom starring out the at the snow as it was falling while drinking some hot pomegranate tea. Melanie and her husband have this amazing deck out on the back of their unit with blue LED lights running up the railing. Every now and then the snow would catch the light and it would look as though they were twinkling and moving across the snow.

This morning, since I had anticipated having to go to work, I was dressed and out the door by 8:30. Glad that I got out there in time to see the beautiful powder snow before it got all hard from the sleet.

I walked all over and took pictures via my iphone and my Spartus full-vue. While I was out there, Melanie came out onto her porch and laughed at me for a minute, but insisted that I show her the photos once developed. I truly feel blessed to live out here. I know that I have been here for a few months now, but it is still a dream come true for me.

Using only the snow on my porch, I built the biggest snow man I have ever single handedly built. I then walked down to the river bank and found some limbs to use as arms. When I came inside to dry off, I noticed my neighbor Bill and his wife walk by and chuckle at it. They think I am such a hoot.

After a nice cup of hot chocolate, I went out on the porch once more, rounded up some fresh, soft snow and made ice cream. Not just any though, raspberry and white chocolate chip ice cream. I put in the fridge for later and grabbed another batch full of snow for Sarah and I to play with later.

After putting some ingredients into the bread machine, I walked out of my loft again and this time went on a two hour hike. The whole time carrying a pizza sheet. Originally I was going to try and sled with it, but all I did was scoop up the snow with the curved edges. (I shall try again tomorrow after finding a proper box). I then walked and walked down the trail. Further than I have ever since moving here. I was the only one out there and it was absolutely breathtaking. I went through a bamboo forest where the shafts were larger than my hand could wrap round. Once I actually fell down a small hill not realizing how deep the snow was.

I saw areas of this town that I am sure that none of you have, and I feel quite privileged of such. (For right now, my computer is having difficulties in uploading the photos, but I will soon). At one point, as I have been saying I would do since the move, I climbed into the river. I got about five feet out, moving from rock to rock, and took a picture. Very difficult task if I say so myself. Juggling the gloves, the phone and the snow that was pelting me in the face, but success.

It was just amazing to be out there, in the complete silence of nature and just watching the snow fall. I have never felt so peaceful in all my life.

When I came home, Mo still refused to come out and play. He retreated back up stairs when I tried to bring him out with me. I then sat down and had a little late lunch, and watched HP: Sorcerer's Stone. Tomorrow, seeing as I am down to one egg, and contemplating hiking up the to grocery store so that I can bake some more goods. That is, providing that I do get the day off.

Snow Induced Apocalypse= Celery Crisis

Last night Sarah S. showed up to my house in prep for our shopping trip for dinner and later a night on the town. She immediately began telling me how worried she was about the impending doom destined for this town. Apparently, if the roads become icy and the new shift can't make it in, guess who's working a double?

After reassuring her that its was the mountains which were expected to receive the inches of snow and not our fair town as her father previously told her (and I might have promised to come and save her if need be), we headed off to the store.

Aisle by aisle we collected the items that we needed for the dinner, plus a few personal things. The place was an absolute mad house. There was hardly any milk, all the bananas were gone, and, and there was no celery which we absolutely needed. While checking out, the cashier was telling us about all the crazy things that had been happening since the announcement that snow was on the way. Apparently they ran out of milk the previous day as well.

Seeing as another grocery store was literally around the corner, we decided to try there. Once again, we struck out. No celery, in fact, there was this huge whole in the produce section where it was suppose to be. We ended up having to buy one of those precut packages that cost so much more.

Why is that though? Why is it that the second snow is predicted or a heavy rain comes our way, people lose their minds?

Best Friday EVER

Last night was kind of a bummer, but I did get a judge to write me a recommendation letter. That's something.

So, this morning I woke, not really feeling like doing a whole lot, went downstairs to make breakfast. I then found where Mo apparently had gotten sick during the night. Thank God my floors are concert!

Finally, I trekked back upstairs to get ready for work. When it was time to pick out what I was going to wear for casual Friday, I realized that my blue jeans were in the hamper. Ewwww. Looking in desperation at my closet, I grabbed another pair of jeans. A pair that have been in my closet since 2007. I bought that pair when I first moved here following college. I had told myself that I was finally going to start losing weight.

Well, I am happy to report that as this morning, I finally took the tags of the BCBG jeans!!! They fit great. Even Kevin, my toughest critic, would approve of the them. Topped with the turtle neck that Jenice picked out for me... I feel like a million bucks today!

Ringing In 2011

At first I was going to wait until posting about NYE since the pictures are currently stored on Sarah S.'s camera. But, then I just figured that I could go back and add them later. So...

It all started on Friday where I slept in until 9. Woot! It was like I was back in college, right? Okay, maybe not, but it felt great. I then went down stairs, made myself some breakfast and then tackled the Christmas decorations. That morning I accomplished the impossible, a feat which I was unable to master last year. I got the tree back in the box and was able to close it! Last year I had to duck tape it closed and it still didn't stay that way. Points for me.

After all the holiday decor was packed away and my apartment was back to normal, I went upstairs and still charged with the cleaning bug dusted everything, including that lamp in my stair well. For those of you who don't know, this particular lamp hangs about 30 feet in the air and I had to lean over my railing in the office with a duster to reach it. I ended up just banging it and the dust fell off. I didn't want to over extend my reach, I could have go overboard, which would have ruined this entire story. Ru-ined!

Then it was time to get ready and meet up with Jenice. You all know how that story went by the pics from my closet. Yay! On my way back to town, I decided that I was super thirsty and stopped by Zaxby's for a large sweet tea. Boy howdy do they mean large. I couldn't finish the stupid thing. It just kept going and going.

Later that afternoon I had a randevu with my folks to get my little brother since his car was having repairs done. Then we loaded up the three pounds of crab legs that I had bought, the bottle of champagne, and our outfits and we were out the door to Sarah's.

When we got there, Ben was already cooking two pounds of crab legs. Eek. So then he added one pound of mine and we decided the save the rest for later. That meal was to die for, which is great because I thought that I was. I did take half a anti histamine right before dinner, but there was no real noticeable reaction that I could tell.

Then we sat and waited, and waited, and waited. The cab driver never showed up. So, since Kevin hadn't been drinking yet, he drove us downtown in my car. Off to the masquerade party we were. We couldn't get the guys to wear the masks, but Sarah and I did. It was a great night, and apparently we had picked a great spot to stay because some friends of ours had shown up saying that everywhere else was popping at the seams. We ran into Ohara, Justin, Jordan, and some of Ben's friends, which I can't remember their names. Sorry.

When it was getting close to midnight, Ben had bet Kevin ten bucks to go find some chick to kiss him right before midnight. In wanting to help him succeed, I was on the search as well. But, he didn't seem to be too into the idea. Finally, when the countdown began, we raised our glasses, sang Auld Lang Syne and pissed Ben off. Why is that? Because I stole the first kiss of the new year from Sarah before he could. Muahahaha.

The cab drive home, there are no words. The most redneck, redneck individuals we had ever met climbed in after us and rode the entire time to all stops talking and smoking. The big deal was that they were staying at a hotel downtown. So, why were they in the cab? The woman's ashes almost lit Kev's coat on fire. Eek. When we got back to Sarah's, the cab driver pulled a switch on us. I had handed Kevin the money for our portion of the ride and had gone inside. Well, ten minutes later, Kevin came in. I asked what took so long, he said that the driver had changed her price to $15 per person rather than the 10 she had quoted us earlier. TO make sure that she got the money, she had a "bouncer" in the front seat. Shaddy indeed. Needless to say, they didn't tip her.

The next day, I woke at 7, but others didn't begin stirring until around 10. Kevin was the last to get up. I ran back the room he was staying in, saw that he had locked the door. So, I went into the kitchen for a utensil to pick the lock and scare him. Well, he must have heard me because the second I got the door open, he smacked me in the head with a pillow. Arggggg.

We ended our morning with our party at Five Star Day. Great place, but it is always packed. I am glad that I got to spend the new year with some of the most important people in my life. Looks like 2011 is off to a great start!

Double Life

This morning I woke at 3:30. Completely unexpected and suddenly from a great dream. I starred at the ceiling for a good hour hoping that I would fall back to sleep and continue my vacation with the cabana boy, but alas, I couldn't. I went downstairs, and shocked at the fact that I did not fall down them, grabbed a glass of water and a movie.

Hoping that this would eventually lull me back to sleep, I set the TV to automatically shut off after 30 minutes. Thirty minutes later, I was turning the TV back on. Grrr. Before I knew it, I was getting up to turn my alarm off, 100% awake. This was a sign of a bad day on the front.

As I was getting ready this morning, I noticed that I had a knot on the side of my face. I have no idea where it came from. Its just there. It did make me start thinking and fantasizing though. What if I were leading a double life, like Edward Norton in Fight Club.

By day, I'm Mere, the studious paralegal with larger than life ambitions. By night, the mysterious blonde racing motorcycles under the bypass (a dream I had a few months back).

I should at least dream during the day since I can't obviously at night, right?

Frailty is Thy Name

I find it rather odd that two of my close friends have said the same thing about me, in the same week, different days mind you, and use almost the exact same words.

I had Sarah N. help pick out a new jacket for me via gchat and le internet. I told her that my leather jacket just wasn't cutting it against the harsh cold mornings and evenings. She said that we needed to cloth my frail body. When I retorted back that I was not frail, she stated, "You are frail because you wouldn't be so cold all the time if you had more meat on your bones." Touché.

Then, on Friday when I went over to Sarah S.'s house for dinner, she commented that when I hugged her I felt so frail. She said that she wasn't use to getting poked by my bones. Granted, my bones are sticking out, but they are thick bones. Runs in my genes, can't help it. My grandfather had back surgery once and it took the doctors forever to get behind his bones because the x-rays did not show the thickness of them.

However, I don't feel frail, nor do I think that I look that way. Although, I did notice that as I was typing this post, my right ring finger has a rather large bruise on it. No idea how I got it, but there it is. Oh well, we all have opinions don't we?



Le Bruise



Closet Freak

This Friday, seeing as I was off work for the New Year, I decided to go shopping. Knowing myself and my abilities to buy loads of clothes, not loving any of them and not the right sizes or proper fits, I decided that adult supervision was absolutely necessary. So, who was up for the challenge? My unbelievably smart, beautiful, kind and talented friend Jenice over at Style Me Libra.

She met me over at the outlets and all within one store, she completely pushed my envelope off the table and broadened my horizons. Aisle by aisle she grabbed things and told me that I needed to try them on. Picked colors that I would normally not chose, and... pushed me into a turtle neck.

For those of you who don't know, I have issues with wearing anything too tight around my neck. Shirts, dresses, necklaces, I won't wear if I feel they are too tight. Anyway, she picked out a white turtle neck and sent me off to the fitting room. I came out sporting the pick, and was soon informed that a medium wasn't cutting it anymore. That's right, I'm a small now.

Then, I picked out a dress that I really liked and was told, again, that my usual size didn't work either. Which one did I leave the store with? A size 6. That's right, a six. I haven't been that small since I was in middle school. Take that bitches!

Haha. Anyway. We had a great time. She made it so easy. When I got back to town, I went to the mall to find a pair of brown trousers seeing as we couldn't find any at the outlets. Not only did I come out of there with pants, but, yet another turtle neck and two other shirts for work. Jenice, you've created a monster.

I cannot wait until we get to do that again.

When I got home, I was so excited, I had to clean out my closet. I got rid of some things that were still lingering in there that shouldn't have been. It was great. I finally have a closet that I can be proud of.