Tranquility

The last couple of days I have to say that I have been in this unbelievable peaceful state. I have no real worries. I finished three projects this week without flipping out. I know that I should probably be looking for new places to live soon, but I am not panicked about that either. I have never really felt this way before. I stayed up until past midnight last night because I didn't feel like going to bed. Me, not feeling like going to bed. Bizzare.

It doesn't matter where I am, this peaceful cloud just follows me. Trust me, I'm not complaining, I just don't know how to understand it. It may sound strange, but I think that it is having an effect on the cat too. He is crying a lot less now than he use to. Now its only when he wants to be let out or is upset at my alarm clock.

Today I walked downtown for lunch and made record time. It wasn't that I was hurrying or anything, but my pace in life as quickened and when I walk, I don't realize it has much anymore.

This may sound strange, but you have to understand what an effect that car accident I had when I was 18 had on me. Every step that I took was a shock of pain. I hated walking, couldn't stand it. Even when I was in New York last year, I loved the fact that I was there, but the walking almost killed me.

Not anymore. I walk downtown just about everyday for one thing or another. Usually involving the bank or the courthouse, in heels no less. If I did that just four months ago, my feet would be shot for the rest of the day. Not now.

My whole life is changing and its fantastic. I have a whole new perspective on everything and I am reviewing the past with new eyes and embracing the future with the same. I'm not scared about my future anymore. I'm not worried about whether or not its all going to work out. All these greats things seem to be happening to me and I don't know if its because I am finally living life by my rules and terms.

I think that I project this image as well. People seem more comfortable around now. Strangers talk to me on the street or at the gym. Even a new friend that I have made since going there gave me a silly band. It is of course silly that I would really think anything of it, but it really did make me feel good that someone would be willing to be so nice and generous to me, even if it was just a piece of plastic.

Even just now, in a client meeting. They were so appreciative and kind. Complimented my necklace, said how nice it was for me to be helping them, etc.

Life is just good right now.