Mulligan

As I do towards the end and wind down of each quarter, I reflect back on my past educational experiences. Such as today when I was chatting with Sarah N. She asked me why it was that I did not have the grade point average that I have now, then. My only, and honest, reply I could give her was that I simply did not apply myself. Far too many times was I out running the halls the dorms or the lawn of front campus when I should have been inside, studying for the test that I would have the next day. Or perhaps outlining that paper due within a week's time.


My freshman year, I dropped all but two classes my second semester. Why? I allowed the car accident to get the best of me. Rather than push myself, I laid down and rolled over. That phrase, the one now that just the mere hint at it makes my skin crawl, "Its too hard," was my one and only excuse.


Although kicking myself seems to be more practical, there are many times that I wish I could scream "mulligan!" The safe word, the one that would turn back time and give me a fresh new start. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work that way. Oh, but how I wish it would. I would go back, tell that little blond headed teen to turn away and walk back in the opposite direction. I would reach down and turn off her TV, and put the mini Reese's cups back into the freezer from whence they came.


I would tell her that one day she would regret her actions and that there were plenty of opportunities in the future to mingle. The world would not stop turning if she skipped that one night at the Brick or the local pizzeria. That her friend's fight with her boyfriend (and her co-worker) was not that big a deal nor did it take priority over studying for that econ final the following morning.


Pushing my wishful thinking aside, I told Sarah that I just had to place my focus on the future and accomplishing my goals. Instead of taking the easy road like before, I now push myself everyday with even some of the simplest of tasks.


Even just running on the treadmill. If I make it to four solid minutes with no break, "Mere, you've gotten this far, keep going, it'll be over before you know it." Same thing when it comes to weight lifting, "You've done this set twice already, what's one more?"


At this moment, I am sitting in class preparing to turn in my final project for Corporate Law, and the room is full of talk and gasps at just how large my final product is. I could have settled for the bare bones, but I didn't. I didn't. I have traveled down that road, more than my fair share, and I know exactly where it leads... no where. I plan on never revisiting.

I understand that this means that I will be at constant war with myself and the need to procrastinate. I will be fighting my natural instincts and the belief that "tomorrow is another day."

Well, yes it is. Rather than waste it by doing what I should have done today, I plan on embracing it with full and open possibilities. My "mulligan" days are over. I never really liked golf anyhow.